Comment on How do I tame my frustration toward my aging parents?
dansity@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 months ago
You can pick your friends, pick your spouse. You cannot pick parents. You dont have to forgive them just because they are your parents. Shit behaviour is not forgivable. If they are behaving like a 5 years old on tantrum maybe they need to be left with their thoughts and think it over. They will change their mind when they are left out of things.
IonAddis@lemmy.world 9 months ago
So, I’m uncertain if the parent’s behavior (screaming and throwing things w/ the mom) has been like this all the time and OP is finally getting fed up with it, or if it’s really a sudden change.
I’d definitely first consider the advice from others in this thread to check environmental toxins or health stuff with the parents, esp. if the behavior of mom is a sudden change–but if that checks out ok, or if the mom screaming and throwing things has been present OP’s life, it’s not a bad thing to consider this advice above.
How you handle parents who were good (or decent enough) parents when they decline is different from how you handle abusive parents. And this advice here is solid for if OP’s parents are abusive.
I imagine the people downvoting it are people who grew up with stable parents who maybe did descend into (normal) decline and thus are thinking of their own experiences and can’t imagine what it’s like to have genuinely bad parents one’s entire life, or the harsh boundaries one has to set to win yourself free of them.
But OP does need to take context into account (including stuff they might not have put in their story) and evaluate if the screaming/throwing things is actually new, or if it’s always been that way and they’re finally getting fed up enough to want to break free.