Generally the most welcoming and comforting places are men’s clubs and groups, so much so, that women have fought legal battles to get into male only spaces like fraternities, gyms, clubs, societies, etc… yet there are no men fighting to get into women’s spaces. Really makes you think… the most toxic workplaces I have been involved in were the jobs I had where women dominated the demographic. There was constant bickering, backstabbing, and gossip that me and the men didn’t want to participate in and certainly couldn’t keep up with. It wasn’t until my desk got moved to a factory floor that was heavily male dominated that people cared and looked out for each other more. This may have been because of the safety culture differences of a factory floor vs an office, but it felt deeper than that. Happy hours were actually happy and not filled with angst, no office drama, I could be more open and honest because my male coworkers wouldn’t get “the ick” if I was having a bad day and actually looked out for me, etc… I think women use the “patriarchy” as this nebulous, abstract thing that they can just place all of their failures and shortcomings as a person on so that way they don’t have to face the truth that deep down they are a disgusting person.