I’m in a similar situation - I badly hurt my best friend from school and we stopped talking. This was over a decade ago. I know from mutual friends that she’s moved away, she’s happy and has children now. Although I really regret how I acted, I think it’s best to just leave it in the past. No need to dredge up old pain for her just so I can feel better for apologising.

Idk if that’s the right answer, but it’s what I’ve chosen.