[PieFed] seems to be strongly opinionated about how people should behave and it kinda gives me an icky feeling about its culture

Yea, I get this same feeling. It’s not that I mind that culture or being mindful of how people behave and such - I just don’t think that is the domain of the software to decide. Individual instances can decide that for themselves, but the software shouldn’t influence that kind of thing, I feel.