To be clear, this is Lemmy where we don’t feel the effects of your decisions.

I used to make these jokes as a teenager in church and I didn’t know how offensive and misguided I was. It might be worth having a conversation with them, nobody is one demensional and incapable of change. If she reacts well with not only her words but her actions (like she takes it down or publicly apologizes or wtv) then maybe you could trust her. If she doesn’t react well then you should probably re-evaluate what this relationship is for and if bigotry is worth it. It can be hard but you can find accepting friends online and in person, you just need to put in the effort.

Tldr; it’s a personal thing about whether they’re actually willing to respect you by changing their behavior or if you’re willing to deal with it bc this relationship is important enough.