Petro’s presidency feels like a dystopian reboot of Colombia’s endless conflict loop. Missile plots and narco drones—because why evolve past clichés when you can weaponize incompetence? His “total peace” pledge now reads as tragicomedy, with ELN strikes displacing thousands while cabinet reshuffles mimic musical chairs.

The man’s playing 4D chess against shadows—blaming “big mafias” for assassination theatrics, yet his approval ratings nosedive faster than a poorly maintained crop duster. Peace talks suspended, hospitals bombed, villages emptied: Colombia’s Groundhog Day, but with more explosive tech.

Meanwhile, the propaganda mills spin faster than a Black Hawk rotor. Petro’s X rants about international law violations while his own strategies crumble like stale arepas. When the rebels and the state both traffic in chaos, the only “total” thing here is the collective delusion.