I think it started with TV being regulated. At first we were strict about only giving her access to ‘educational’ shows, so a lot of PBS Kids shows like Daniel Tiger, but we also did YouTube channels like Super Simple Songs. We avoided anything too commercialized or designed to sell toys (Paw Patrol), but that caused issues when she went to preschool and didn’t know any of the shows and characters the other kids knew, so we relaxed a little, but treated Paw Patrol as a treat (she’d be limited to 30 minutes of it, but could then switch to something on PBS). And even PBS screen time was limited to certain times of the day. It never really became an issue because she never knew any other way.
For the phone, a few years ago on Google Fi it was actually the same price to have 3 lines as it was to have 2 lines, and I had an extra phone and so it just made sense to activate it so she had a phone to use in the car while we took a 12 hour car ride. It worked really well, and she knew that ‘her phone’ would always go right back in my pocket when she wasn’t using it. We also got her some Bluetooth headphones and we’ve taught her that her phone should not make any sound that anyone else can hear when we’re in public. We’re trying to find that balance between making sure she has the skills needed to use technology, but also doesn’t become dependent on it like the rest of us are. I’m not sure it will work in the long-term, but I do know that my family won’t be the ones behind you in a restaurant with the kid playing a loud game on her phone.