Where did you study? Your profile is 70% complete. You want to get it to 100%, don’t you? So tell us where you studied. And who you studied with, go on. TELL US WHO YOU STUDIED WITH AND IN WHICH YEAR. That’s it, very good. And your relationship status? Come on, Facebook dating is peaking, the algorithm was adjusted, there are great chances it's the time to take a leap of faith. Oh, you are already dating? We already knew it, since we have your whatsapp data you silly, but you know who does not? Yes exactly, all those kids from school you couldn't care less about, and your weird side of the family. It's time to officially tell them. Oh it's complicated? It's all right, we will give you this option. We offer “it's complicated”, but in case it is really damn complicated, you might go for the classic “single”. Yes, you cannot go really wrong with it. For eventual updates we offer you “In a relationship” which you might eventually update to “Engaged”, yes, live the dream, this one really peaks in the current algorithm, we will make sure to bring the update to top everyone's feed. You might as well go for “married”, on “in a civil union”, or in a domestic partnership (since it is always good to let people aware of what you have at home), but in case you are against all these models we offer “in an open relationship”, cause the show must go on, and in case you are feeling self pity nobody will judge the status “separated”, “divorced” or “widowed”. Hey, are you overwhelmed by the notifications, and you want your feed clean, right? Tell us more. Do you only like these 10 movies? Because there are many more movies in the world. Do you want some movie recommendations to enjoy? How about that one with the cute Labrador getting into trouble? Hey, it says here that you haven’t specified who your inspirational muses are. We’re going to give you some muse suggestions, OK? Your friends specified their inspirational muses a long time ago, some of them even added more people than you did back in April. Ohhh, right, we almost forgot: a very, very, very warm welcome. Enjoy it. Facebook is free and always will be!
/2017