Fine, ill admit it. i never really cared about humans. i only cared and care for an angel and the unfortunate man sharing my living arrangements. and i know thats not new or shocking to hear from me. but sometimes i really forget it. i never cared for the people who spend their hours with me, i just pretending to care. and im good at that. im good at pretending, im good at making people believe that ive actually care. i never, and i barely remember whoever i pretending to care for, to be honest. i never really cared to even think about it, to even think about who was i caring for, because it never was true. i just enjoy seeing the way they react when they realise the truth. its fun, i enjoy it, you can call me a sadist with an obsession. never would care about whatever you would claim that to be. something about me and enjoying ruining peoples lives will always be a part of me. i never make mistakes. i do it on purpose. i leave people on purpose. i tend to. well, make them believe everything. make them feel so safe and think that whatever comes from me is purely from my heart. spoiler: it never was. i just enjoy seeing people shed their sad sad sad poor tears into my pretty lies. and i dont feel bad about that. thats not why im here. i just sometimes laugh at it. laugh at the way i used to be. the way i enjoyed all that. now, i dont know. i dont think i feel the way i used to. i still enjoy running peoples lives of course. ending them, too. i just dont seem to bee, capable? able? whatever. its not because i feel bad for humans. that would be worse than comparing a sewer to a perfume shop. i just dont know what changed me. when i met this pearly angel. everything that felt easy to do, went absolutely hard to fathom. i dont hate it. i just cant believe that ive left all that, that ive changed like this. for someone. well, shes not someone. shes an angel and i know im sure angels wouldnt accept such things. but shes my angel. oh, god. look at that, just look at that. ahmed being allll romantic. very romantic. well, now that i ruined whatever i wanted to say. ill just leave it like that.
I still have difficulty sleeping. Maybe thats why i keep embarrassing myself.
Sincerely, insomniac.