Never take someone seriously online. and im the first example to that. seriously. i could write an entire page about how i’ve rediscovered my soul, poured my heart onto the floor, stared dramatically into the distance and contemplated the meaning of human connection. and then wake up the next morning and decide it was probably because i forgot to have a cigarette. or alcohol. actually, that explains a lot. oops. i missed my daily dosage of terrible decisions and, in its absence, developed emotions. How embarrassing, Ahmed. I should really be more careful with myself. anyway, this is why you should never take anything you read online too seriously. people believe absolutely everything these days. if i told you i was a horse, there would be someone somewhere going, “ Wow. i always knew there was something different about him.” No, you didnt. lets not lie to each other. you saw a man type four paragraphs and decided you understood his entire biology. i could make up a completely different life tomorrow and half of you would accept it without hesitation. new name, new age, new personality. suddenly im a retired fisherman living in Norway with seven cats and a very very tragic history involving a lighthouse. and you’d believe me. you’d probably ask what the cats are called. fuck you’d even ask me if im doing alright. this is funny, when people treat whatever someone tells them about themselves online as unquestionable fact. i would say.. the internet has abounded its own skepticism. you can announce that you’re anything, claim you’ve lived through anything, tell everyone you’ve been someone completely different for the last twenty years, and people will nod solemnly through the screen like they’ve been handed official government documentation with no questions or doubt. just a “thank you for sharing your truth !” How inspiring. meanwhile, i could tell you tomorrow that my name is ahmed, im actually 20 years old, I’ve murdered several people, i own an unnecessarily large collection of antique knives, and ive been living under a fake identity since 2014. and someone would reply “Wow. im really glad you felt comfortable enough to share this!!! “. Thank you. it means alot. the murder allegations are completely legitimate, by the way. Please don’t investigate them. i also have three passports and a pigeon named tofu who handles my finances. tofu is very trustworthy. has never committed tax fraud. allegedly, and somehow, someone would still believe every word of it. even ask me what my favorite knife is. The old italian stiletto i bought from an antique dealer in Milan, obviously. apparently belonged to a retired military officer in the 1920s. very normal thing to own. So yes, dont believe everything i write. but dont go assuming its all nonsense either. id hate to give myself that much credit for being funny. some of it happend some of it is non of your business and, oh for gods sake. listen to me, sitting here explaining myself to people on the inernet like im submitting evidence in court. silly me.
Anyway, im done being profound for today. you can stop reading by now, i have nothing to say. which means ill write again sometime..
Sincerely, A very unserious man with too much internet access.