Converting to Orthodox Judaism is one of the most intense things one can do. There are many different situations, and exceptions. What I will share is a short overview because I could write much more on this topic.
Let me start with the most important thing which is being generally liked by the community,
This means that you do not form a threat in any kind of way to the community. This might sound obvious but I am also talking about people that are a financial or emotional liability. What this means is that, beyond studying Judaism, you will also have to ‘play’ the social, religious, and political game within the Orthodox community. If you are able to get the support of the most important people within the community (this includes the rabbi) then you are generally speaking good to go. If on the other hand the most important people within the community don’t like you then you might never do the giyur (conversion) with that community, or in that country/region.
This means you need to be able to network and be social with all people no matter how they think or act. You need to be a politician. Therefore, my advice is to read books like: “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. This might sound strange but it can save you years on the conversion process. Additionally, it would be useful to go from time to time to other Jewish communities to network with people there. Remember that you should always dress like an Orthodox Jew but not like a Chasidic Jew when you are not yet jewish yourself (most people find it too ‘fake’ when you haven't converted yet). Sometimes it can be the case that the conversion process is taking too long (over 3 years) and this is where your ‘friends’ from your network can help you out. Communal pressure on a rabbi does have an impact from time to time. And if they are being too unrealistic or too demanding then you might move to a different community (one where you already know people).
It takes a lot of money to convert. You will need to live close to the synagogue (walking distance). You need to have a job which allows you to be shomer shabbat (keep shabbat laws). The problem is that most, if not all, synagogues are located in the city center where the rent is extremely high. Kosher food is also very expensive. Before you start the conversion process you should calculate the cost of living as if you were Jewish already. On top of that you should try to keep shabbat during the winter time (dark very early in some places) to see how it will impact your work.
There are many people that claim to be Jewish but that they can’t prove it. This doesn’t matter at all to Orthodox Jews. If you can't prove it then you will need to convert. Sometimes it is easier to convert if your dead is Jewish or if you have a grandparent that is Jewish. But you still need to convert if you can’t prove that your mother is Jewish. I heard so many stories from converts that have all kinds of different claims. 99% of these claims are wishful thinking. If they do a DNA test then most of them have 0% ashkenazi or sephardi DNA matches. This is totally fine, but please don’t fool yourself. On the other hand such stories might sell very well to the Jewish community. For practical (political) purposes you might want to fabricate such a story like: “My grandfather always respected the Jewish community and lit a candle on Friday evening”. This instills the potential idea that your grandfather might have been Jewish and that you are a” lost Jewish soul”. If they ask you if he was Jewish then you simply reply: “I don’t think so”.
Creating a deadline and boundaries are a must. Do not let this process continue for over 5 years. Also have in mind how much money you can spend on this and keep track of everything you spend. This also includes opportunity cost (You could have spent X amount of money on something else if it was not for the conversion process). An acquaintance of mine left a very well paying job (over 150k a year) to become Jewish. These are difficult decisions to make for a person but you are the one that has to set boundaries.
If you are married then they will ask you simply: “will your spouse also convert?/ live religiously (if he/she is already Jewish)”. If the answer is “No” from your end then they will not convert you. However, there are special routes for cases where the husband or wife is Jewish. They generally speaking will make it easier for you (if your Jewish husband/wife is willing to become orthodox).
#OrthodoxJudaism #OrthodoxConversion #ConversionToJudaism #Giyur #Judaism #JewishConversion #JewishCommunity #OrthodoxJewishCommunity #JewishLife #Halacha #ReligiousConversion