Today is one of those days that feels worse because it followed a short series of quite good days. Pain, fatigue, and wiping tears and god knows what running out of my nose. It's frustrating. I'm frustrated. I don't have the energy to scream into the pillow but it's the thought that counts. There's a lot of thoughts.
Inside me are two wolves. One wolf can't breathe properly and will obtain vastly improved lung capacity living away from a cockatoo. The other wolf has difficulty regulating aldosterone and has skewed sodium, potassium, and fluid at times. Both wolves are fatigued. Both wolves are also part of a pack that includes some mental health wolves and we're not even going to touch on those wild dogs today. But they’re vying for attention too, in the neurodiverse/mental illness shadowed part of the woods.
I don't know what I'm capable of any more. I don't know when I'll have a good day, or a bad day. I don't even know what a normal day looks like.
Just. Ah. AHHH. So tired. And there are no words for the thoughts. Just howling canines fighting.