Movies and TV shows and cartoons, I watched them all from a very young age. When I was a child, the real-life situations were not so good, but these stuff let me live in my imagination away from all the problems I had. These stuff made me feel different kinds of emotions and explore my own fantasy while popping, of course. So although it is very cringe to admit and feels like a psycho, I became addicted to these a lot. The only thing after this was a lot of sugar in lemonade.
But this imagination never stopped. All the stuff from these media started to come in my dreams. I used to make relationships with all of these characters. I knew that they made them like this so we would like them, but like an addict, I fell for the pit hole, and then I grew and got on social media. At this point, that addiction was gone mainly because I was into these tech stuff and YouTube, and life kind of started to be normal. I saw beautiful women around me. That is another point, that women started to come in my dreams, and we usually had sex, and I made whole relationships with them with breakup and feeling this heavy feel in my right chest area. I cried. I did a whole lot of shit, while they never knew that I did this. Fuck.
But then one day a person (not going to name, it can be anyone btw) was watching this F.R.I.E.N.D.S show. I never watched English stuff before without Hindi dubbing. So I listened to it. At that time, my English was kind of shit, but I was understanding some sentences, and the accent was pretty weird. From that day, because I was the tech guy, I drank the whole internet and got to know about torrent, trackers, r/piracy megathread, sflix, etc., etc., and I watched almost everything I liked. I did not like Friends, btw. In the process, my English got good, but the downsides were more severe.
I started to do that thing again, but this time with actresses, not cartoons. It became more severe because now everything that I am thinking is happening in front of my eyes. It became automatic. I was not able to control this imagination of mine, and I felt that burn inside whenever I see posts like this actress’s boyfriend or this and that. With sci-fi stuff, I got deep into the technical stuff and started creating my own stories. It was fun and comforting but hard to break out of, until I saw another crazy one.
Now I have decided that I am only going to watch anime, cartoons, etc. I might watch a movie or something, but I will try my best not to get that addiction back, and I will remind myself that this person can be shit in real life; you never know. I would prefer imagining my life with a person whom I have some chance in real life to be with or talk to, then imagining a random woman, a fake persona created to sell movies. I don't want to fall in love with an illusion while she earns money from that image and goes on living her rich , full of sex , party life.