Love, I always wondered what exactly it is. Honestly, I never got to feel it, soo I can't really describe it.
When people around me ask if I love them, I say I do, but it does not feel like love. It feels more like I am around them because they have not harmed me yet. More like survival.
I never truly get it. Honestly, people describe it as just yet another chemical reaction, but I have never seen another chemical reaction that makes people give their life for someone else.
Me thinking I would never give my life for someone might be a sign that I have not felt love for anyone yet.
When I am in a group and yet another guy says this happened and then I broke up, it hurt. Then I say I also want that experience, and they say, “Better not get it.” Why?
Like they got a phase in their life, a phase which I am thirsting over. I want that thing, that feeling of love and breakup and all of that in between. Whenever they say that, it feels like I envy that person. Part of it is kinda jealousy.
I don't know what the fuck I am writing. I just wanted to write it. I really want to experience it before death.