But you should know that I died slow Running through the halls of your haunted home And the toughest part is that we both know What happened to you Why you're out on your own Merry Christmas, please don't call
I forgot to actually write this on Christmas whoops
Every Christmas before I spent with my parents. Especially as an adult, it stopped being anything special, but I would always be with them. This year turned out to be an exception. As has been mentioned to death in my recent blog posts (see any of the posts titled A New Career In A New Town for far too much information). I spent this Christmas alone. To be honest, it felt like any other day. Sure, I had to stay inside because basically everything else was closed, but otherwise it was just a normal day.
By the end of the chaos I have been dealing with the past several days, what I really wanted for Christmas was exactly that: a normal day. Everything was exactly that: normal. I had a permanent address. I had a steady job. What more did I need? I was content with peace. I had enough “fun” dealing with chaos.
I lived alone before, so it is nothing unusual. It just takes getting used to. There are definite positives: no one can steal your food, dislike you listening to the Smiths at 0400 on Christmas Eve, or have their own peculiar aspects of their life. Of course, there are downsides: only you pay the rent, you are responsible for everything, and of course, you are alone.
Being alone is fine until it is not. It is like how people can experience both being homesick and having cabin fever. Sometimes people are too much, but sometimes you just want someone to talk to. That is the human condition, is it not? The hedgehogs of dilemma fame will hurt each other if they are too close but need each other to stay warm. We humans are no different. If I remember, this is the plot of an episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Guess I am a hack. Time is a flat circle. History repeats itself.
I know this is probably nothing unusual for most people. It is for me. Am I privileged to be like this? Probably. This is my blog though.
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Part 95 of #100DaysToOffload
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