There’s a part of me that wants to LIVE…
and there’s a part of me that’s tired enough to die.
There’s a part of me screaming, “GROW!”
And another part whispering, “Sit down. You’ve done enough.”
One part of me is sick and tired of standing still.
It wants to stretch.
To change.
To drive my roots DEEP into the soil and reach for the ONE TRUE VINE.
Jesus Christ.
Because apart from Him, I can do nothing.
But then there’s that other part of me.
The loner.
The introvert.
The man who can recharge his batteries alone—with nature, a beach, a quiet library, and a stack of books.
Sometimes I want CONNECTION.
Sometimes I want a LOCKED DOOR.
And maybe you understand that.
Because there’s something inside all of us that cries, “I NEED PEOPLE!”
And five minutes later says, “Everybody leave me alone!”
There’s a part that wants to climb the mountain…
and another part that sits down halfway up and says:
“Enough. I’ve had enough.”
But wherever you are today—
connecting or isolating…
climbing or resting…
laughing or crying…
growing or barely hanging on—
remember this:
WE’RE ALL GOING HOME.
And for those whose names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, I don’t believe Heaven has gated denominational communities.
No Pentecostal subdivision.
No Baptist boulevard.
No Catholic cul-de-sac.
Just redeemed people standing before the Lamb.
And if your name is written there…
I’LL SEE YOU HOME.
But until then, we have some living to do.
So where are you TODAY?
Are you hiding?
Are you reaching?
Are you resting?
Are you running?
Are you connected to the Vine—or trying to survive on yesterday’s strength?
And here comes the question we don’t like asking:
WHAT IS REALLY HOLDING ME BACK?
We blame the devil.
We blame people.
We blame our family.
We blame what somebody did to us twenty years ago.
And make no mistake—some wounds are real.
Some trauma is real.
Some scars run DEEP.
But your scars do not get to become your master.
Your past does not get to become your prison.
And Satan does not get the final word over a child of God.
Sometimes the greatest battle isn’t around us.
It’s WITHIN us.
The part that wants to rise…
against the part that wants to quit.
The part that believes…
against the part that is afraid.
The part reaching for tomorrow…
against the part still chained to yesterday.
And eventually I have to stop asking:
“Lord, why won’t You change everything around me?”
And start praying:
“LORD, CHANGE SOMETHING IN ME.”
Help me get out of my own way.
Help me forgive.
Help me heal.
Help me connect.
Help me rest when I need rest—and RISE when You tell me to rise.
Help me sink my roots so deep into Jesus Christ that the storms of this life can shake my branches…
BUT THEY CANNOT PULL UP MY ROOTS.
Lord…
HELP US
TO HELP US.
In Jesus’ name.
Amen.